Achy Breaky Heart
Sometimes when I feel I have hit rock bottom, I just like to lie on the floor. It sounds weird, but I believe that I cannot get any lower in life than simply lying on the ground. This is the place a lot of my overthinking and mental breakdowns occur. However, it is also a place I have found peace and surrender. After I spend some time on the floor, I try to figure out what is keeping me down or holding me back from giving it all to the Lord. I like my foundation to be in God. When I lay on the floor of my room, or the grass outside, it is a reminder that I need to lay my anxieties at the feet of the Lord and trust Him to lift me back up and dust me off.
We all have our baggage that we carry around on our backs that keeps us from getting off the floor, out of the deep pit of despair, or maybe the funk you have just felt over your heart. For me, my thing lately has been worth. I tend to be a pretty confident individual, but lately, I have felt worthless. I have felt that I do not matter and that my voice does not need to be heard. I find myself trying to find my identity in the things of this world: in relationships, in materials things, and in how I am perceived by others. I tell myself the clichés. I am worthy, loved, and desired. I am not defined by this world, but my identity lies in the Father, but then I almost drag myself to a lower place.
It is in my low place that I cry out to God. I ask Him to break my heart. It is in the mess of brokenness, that I found hope and healing. When God takes a broken heart and mends it with His love, grace, and mercy, it shapes and transforms who we are. I ask God to break my heart over the things I find my identity in: my relationships, the material things I feel tethered to, and who I am as a person. God shifts the ground that I am on so that I can have a faith built in the foundation of Him. When I lay the pieces of my life on the ground, or at the feet of the Lord, I find peace. I find surrender, and that is so freeing.
This is not something that typically happens immediately but works more in God's timing. This is something I continually struggle with because we live in a world full of instantaneous gratification. If we have to wait for something, it is often not worth it. However, there is something about the anticipation and the hope that there are greater things to come. I have found myself clinging to Psalm 130, it talks about the redemption and forgiveness that is found in the Father. That is what be the foundation of my faith. I am redeemed. I am renewed. I am restored. These are the truths I need to hold close to my heart and mend the brokenness.
We all have our baggage that we carry around on our backs that keeps us from getting off the floor, out of the deep pit of despair, or maybe the funk you have just felt over your heart. For me, my thing lately has been worth. I tend to be a pretty confident individual, but lately, I have felt worthless. I have felt that I do not matter and that my voice does not need to be heard. I find myself trying to find my identity in the things of this world: in relationships, in materials things, and in how I am perceived by others. I tell myself the clichés. I am worthy, loved, and desired. I am not defined by this world, but my identity lies in the Father, but then I almost drag myself to a lower place.
It is in my low place that I cry out to God. I ask Him to break my heart. It is in the mess of brokenness, that I found hope and healing. When God takes a broken heart and mends it with His love, grace, and mercy, it shapes and transforms who we are. I ask God to break my heart over the things I find my identity in: my relationships, the material things I feel tethered to, and who I am as a person. God shifts the ground that I am on so that I can have a faith built in the foundation of Him. When I lay the pieces of my life on the ground, or at the feet of the Lord, I find peace. I find surrender, and that is so freeing.
This is not something that typically happens immediately but works more in God's timing. This is something I continually struggle with because we live in a world full of instantaneous gratification. If we have to wait for something, it is often not worth it. However, there is something about the anticipation and the hope that there are greater things to come. I have found myself clinging to Psalm 130, it talks about the redemption and forgiveness that is found in the Father. That is what be the foundation of my faith. I am redeemed. I am renewed. I am restored. These are the truths I need to hold close to my heart and mend the brokenness.
Father,
I pray that you continue to break my heart. Help me lay it all at your feet. Fill my heart with your anticipation, of the greater things that are to come. Help me trust in your timing, find joys within the struggle, and to dwell in your presence.
Amen.
Song of the Week: "Not in a Hurry" by United Pursuit
Scripture of the Week: Psalm 130
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