Lattes with the Lord

“Lost” and “wandering” are some words that come to mind to describe how I have been feeling lately. I have been questioning who I am and the type of person I want to be; not thinking I am worthy or enough for people. I believe that I am a good person but still cannot shake this feeling. I keep going back to the things that I hold close to my heart like my wonderful friends and family, my hopes and dreams, and the promises of God. I find myself discontent and hopeless and frustrated with my faith despite having so much in my life that is okay. I am starting to understand the restlessness of the Israelites while wandering around the desert; I am starting to understand their desire to want to dwell in the place of God; I am starting to understand the anticipation of the promises God had for them and having difficulty in times of waiting. I feel like I am in a season of waiting. I know God has great plans for me, but I am having a hard time keeping my eyes on Him and trusting in this wa...

So originally I was going to write a post about the fruits of the Spirit. I was excited about it but also stressed because I was afraid I would not adequately portray them. I finally finished the post and was about to publish it, but then it all deleted. I sat on the ground as a few tears streamed, and cried out to God wondering why this one thing could not go my way. This week I have felt so anxious and overwhelmed, and I thought if I just get this blog post done with it will be successful. However, the Lord had some greater things in mind. This experience helped me realize, I was writing something just to post, not because I had something to say. While I am frustrated that the hours I poured into that post now seem like a waste, it has now got me thinking about what it is like to cry out to God in our struggles. My sophomore year of high school was a sort of dark time in my life. I had a lot going on emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. My great-grandma was in hospice and was sl...

Sometimes when I feel I have hit rock bottom, I just like to lie on the floor. It sounds weird, but I believe that I cannot get any lower in life than simply lying on the ground. This is the place a lot of my overthinking and mental breakdowns occur. However, it is also a place I have found peace and surrender. After I spend some time on the floor, I try to figure out what is keeping me down or holding me back from giving it all to the Lord. I like my foundation to be in God. When I lay on the floor of my room, or the grass outside, it is a reminder that I need to lay my anxieties at the feet of the Lord and trust Him to lift me back up and dust me off. We all have our baggage that we carry around on our backs that keeps us from getting off the floor, out of the deep pit of despair, or maybe the funk you have just felt over your heart. For me, my thing lately has been worth. I tend to be a pretty confident individual, but lately, I have felt worthless. I have felt that I do not matte...